Mom Who Created Gender Reveal Parties Wants Parents To Pivot Away From Gender Focus

Gender reveal parties have become almost as common a ‘pregnancy event’ as the actual birth of the baby these days, with people taking all sorts of unique routes to share with family and friends (and social media, of course) the sex of the human occupying their baby bump. But, for the mother commonly credoted as ‘inventing’ the gender reveal with a party and cake filled with pink icing to indicate she was having a girl, it’s not quite as girl or boy as she might have orginally thought it was. In fact mom Jenna Karvunidis told BuzzFeed News that she regrets she put so much emphasis on an otherwise boring detail about what is between a baby’s legs at birth.  

Pink Or Blue, What Will We Do?

In 2008, Jenna and Niko Karvunidis reached the stage in pregnancy where they were able to find out the sex of the baby Jenna was carrying. Sadly experiencing several pregnancy losses before that pregnancy, Karvunidis said she and her husband were so excited to get to that point, they wanted to celebrate with a party. She told Today Parents that she and her husband like to celebrate, and so the creation of a pink-filled cake in the shape of a duck was simply a way for her to show her excitement over her new daughter and to share the good news with her friends and family.

At the time, she said she had few thoughts on gender identification, and even fewer thoughts on what have come to be known as gender reveal parties, quickly saying she’s sure that she was not the inventor of such parties. She’d blogged about her party and was then interviewed by The Bump Magazine, setting the trend of gender reveal parties in motion and crediting her in most mommy groups with founding the idea.

Gender Reveals Gone Wild

But the mom of three now says that she cringes when she sees the insane levels people take them just to celebrate what she considers a mundane fact about their child. In fact, she believes that when we assign focus on birth gender, we’re essentially leaving out talents and potential that most likely have nothing to do with what is between their legs.

Though she did have a cute cake with pink filling, her oldest daughter’s nursery was actually done in blues and yellows and she said she certainly wasn’t trying to create a world of pink around her baby. Now, she’s quite surprised that so much hoopla happens over what she believes is a very boring detail about a person.

Details, Details, Details

Her oldest daughter Bianca is now 10, and Karuvnidis says that though she identifies as a typical girl, Bianca tends to wear more pants/suits than she does dresses. Karavnidis calls this a ‘plot twist,’ that has shown her that gender reveals are more about reinforcing traditional ideas about girls and boys vs. being truth about the baby they are celebrating.

Karavunidis now says what gender the baby is doesn’t really matter, and parents should be more focused on letting them be children and exploring. While she doesn’t condemn parents who still want to participate in traditional gender reveals or celebrations, she does hope that maybe a new take on parties can occur in the form of ‘name reveals’ or even parties to celebrate the fact that one is even pregnant.

She believes there are a ton of different ways to celebrate pregnancy milestones that she believes won’t put anyone in danger, and we’re with her 100%.

Also, can we say we love her because she was treated like a five-year-old at a party last summer because she wasn’t an attorney, so she decided to hit law school up and check herself in. That gal is being the change the world wants to see and we’re fan-girling.

Beautiful Photos That Celebrate The Power Of Postpartum Bodies

To be honest, we sort of hate the term "post-baby body." It puts so much emphasis on this one physical aspect of pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum recovery. In actuality, the mental and emotional recovery is so much more important! But we get it - people focus on what they can see. And what they see is the physical transformation. The growing belly, the postpartum fluctuations, the stretchmarks and belly pooch. We see them, and here at Mommyish, we happen to find them absolutely beautiful. So much so that we wanted to celebrate these amazing post-baby bodies as they should be celebrated every single day.

Having a baby is a remarkable thing. Growing a life inside of you, bringing it out into the world. Nourishing that life in the early days and weeks. Giving so much of yourself to this new little being. We're sort of conditioned to believe that our recovery should happen overnight. That we should leave the hospital looking like we did before we got pregnant. But for the vast majority of us, that isn't going to happen. For many of us, our post-baby bodies will likely never look like they did pre-baby! And that is OK. No, scratch that. That is FANTASTIC. Because these bodies did an insanely cool thing. And we should honor them and love them as much as we do the little people they created.

Your body is just that - a body. It is not who you are. It does not define you. Post-baby bodies just showcase how strong we are.

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Good morning don’t forget that your body is just a shell for your soul ⭐️

A post shared by @ mamanicoledavis on Jul 5, 2019 at 6:59am PDT

@Mamanicoledavis shared this awesome photo on Instagram. But it's the caption that really brings it home. She says, "Don't forget that your body is just a shell for your soul". We give too much time and thought to the outside, and not enough to the inside. Your body is beautiful, all bodies are, but it's your soul and heart that may one day change the world. And it's your soul and heart that make YOU who you are. The stretchmarks and extra skin just add a little flavor, is all.

Our post-baby bodies are our stories, collections of each moment in our journey.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnAQSkoHD3U/

Mama @nazzhie_xo writes, "How is this considered ugly? This is #Motherhood. My story, marked (literally) all over my abdomen. This is what 2 healthy babies and 2 miscarriages in 11 years looks like for me. Each mark represents the #Strength my body used to create #Life. For every #StretchMark I encountered on my body was for every breath, every blink, every yawn, every smile. I longed for these scars." Every scar, every line - it's a line on the road map to who you are, and should be celebrated.

Even celebrities struggle with their post-baby bodies. But seeing some of these celebs say "Eff it" and embrace their new normal is so great.

Married at First Sight star Jamie Otis has the right idea. She says, "Nope, not back to my normal size. And nope, don't care at all. I'm just focusing on being as healthy as can be while nursing." Take your time, mama! These early weeks are hard but so special, and you can't get those back.

Everyone's body is different. All post-baby bodies are different. But they are ALL amazing.

This is a cute little rhyme from @bekah in case you need a reminder: "Every mom bod is different—some are thin and some are round, some are wrinkly and some are hairy, some are light and some are brown." We love this too much! We are all different, and we are all amazing, and if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, you tell them to kick rocks.

Literally no one just "bounces back".

Even athletes and celebrities have post-baby bodies! Professional Latin ballroom dancer Peta Murgatroyd says, "Ladies, we all have to start somewhere...being an athlete I pride myself on having a lean, strong physique, so believe me this has been a challenge to work through, but as long as you have a loving support network around you, you will be fine." We all start somewhere!

This one isn't necessarily about the picture, but the words.

Actress Jana Kramer dealt with haters with some hard truth: " Why do we women have to compare ourselves to each other and then shame?. I say this to myself as much as I say this to y’all...why can’t it be that we are all different. Our bodies are all beautiful and crafted differently, they heal different, they react different, they simply look different. Why do we need to shame someone for not looking a certain way? Or feel bad about ourselves for looking a certain way? Can we be kinder to ourselves and know that every women has a different journey but yet we are all beautiful? Can we lift women up but not tear yourself down in the process with comparing? Let’s give that a try.....I love y’all. Back to my baby."

Don't stress over your post-baby bodies!

We give ourselves grace when we're growing our babies, so why don't we extend ourselves the same grace when they're out? Jessie James Decker says, "It sure is incredible what the body can do and I’m so grateful! I know i say this after each baby but remember what our bodies just when through for 9 months and be proud, don’t stress over post baby body, just enjoy your new baby because these are beautiful moments and memories you will cherish forever (aaaand drink your coffee to survive the no sleeping all night long ha!)."

Don't compare your journey to anyone else's.

Sing it, sing it, sister, sister! Tia Mowry had this to say after the birth of her second child: "While others it may take a little longer. Me, I’m the latter. After giving birth to Cree, my belly didn’t all of a sudden go flat. I did have a C-Section, (as well as with my second pregnancy) and I thought something was wrong with me. I had seen in magazines the many women on the beach a few weeks #postpartum in a two piece. To be honest, it had to take time for me to embrace my new body. With this second pregnancy, I now have embraced that fact that I’ve housed a human being. A miracle. A life. If it takes a while for me to get back to my normal self, than so be it. This.Is.Me. And I love me."

Let's make a pact, mamas: let's stop obsessing over "bouncing back" after baby. And start loving our post-baby bodies. They deserve all the love and respect in the world, and so do we.